Human in Uniform

Emily ran in the opposite side of the protesters coughing and sneezing from the thick cloud of teargas that had just been thrown back at them by one of the protesters. Her gun felt heavy in her hand and she could barely see anything ahead of her owing to the tear gas cloud but she kept running as fast as she could. She didn’t see a stone in her way so she tripped over it and fell on the ground with a huge thud. “Beat her! Kill her!” She heard some protesters shouting behind her and she knew her life was in grave danger. She felt the first stone land on her back with such intense pain and she feared for what might happen to her and she though of her three children. If they killed her, her children would be left without anyone to care for them; her husband had left her for another woman about three years back and he didn’t care if they went hungry or if the children had clothes or went to school. As Emily lay there on the ground, she remembered the heartbreak she had suffered when her husband had walked out on her. She had stopped going to work or even going anywhere. She would spend most of her time in bed crying and wishing for death. She had stopped eating and would barely eat anything so she had lost a lot of weight. She began to think about taking her own life. She had contemplated on giving her three children poison so that they die and then she would follow suit and take the poison and die too. She couldn’t leave them in this world to suffer alone; they would have to come with her to the afterlife. Before she could execute that plan, she shared her feelings, behaviors and thoughts with her father who then advised her to go to a mental hospital. She had mastered the energy to go to hospital where the doctor recommended her to be admitted so that she could receive the proper medical attention. They gave her antidepressants which made her days less dreadful and her nights more peaceful. She also had counselling sessions which reframed how she looked at her situation and she soon began to feel better. Suddenly, life wasn’t so bad and she accepted that her husband had walked away from her. She had the will to fight again; to fight for her life and her children. She had made the decision to choose life and to battle depression until she won. As Emily lay on the ground hearing the protesters approaching her with shouts and taunts she remembered her resolve to fight, to live and she decided she wouldn’t die on that day. She stood up, faced the protesters and pointed her gun to the sky and fired. The protesters got scared and backed up behind a little giving her enough time to ran to the safety of the police vehicles.

This was the fourth day of nation wide protests in their country and these protests were draining to Emily and her fellow police officers. Their government had released the 2024 financial bill and the young citizens had read the bill and they didn’t agree with it. They thought that it was oppressive to the common man as it had laws that would increase taxes on basic commodities that were already hard for the average man to afford. The citizens also believed the government was so corrupt and would use the money collected for their own personal use. The young citizens had then decided to protest this bill by holding country wide demonstrations. The protests were peaceful but the government authorized the police to quelch the demonstrations by dispersing the crowds, arresting the protesters and throwing teargas at them. The actions of the police seemed to only ignite the fire in the protesters as they came out in bigger numbers as the days passed and they became even more resolute in their demonstrations.

Emily finally arrived at the police vehicles and felt as sense of relief of being surrounded by her colleagues.  She took a minute to sit down in one of the vehicles and she began to think about her life. That very morning, she had been unable to afford a whole loaf of bread for her family so they had had to buy half a loaf so that each person could only eat two slices. It wasn’t satisfying but she had no other option. The night before, the electricity tokens had ran out and she didn’t have enough money to buy more so they had had to stay in the darkness and take cold showers in the morning. It had been over a month since she cooked meat in her home because she simply couldn’t afford it. They had been on a diet of vegetables and cereals , not by choice but by circumstances. Her police salary could barely cover the necessities let alone the luxuries. Things had gotten harder since the new government had come into power as it had increased taxes on almost everything. Emily didn’t know how she would survive for the next few coming months. In her mind, she understood why the people were protesting and in her heart she was with them. She was on their side as the finance bill would also affect her negatively. These very citizens she was fighting on the streets were actually fighting for her, for her children and for her future but duty came before rationale. That’s what they had been taught at training camps when she was a young cadet. To obey orders without questioning, to follow instructions without dispute. The government had instructed them to stifle the protesters and they had no other choice than to obey. To disobey would mean to lose one’s job and they didn’t have another source of income. Emily wondered if other police officers had the same thoughts as they disbanded the protesters. She didn’t want to be here but she had no other way. As she had that thought, a stone came flying in the sky and hit the wind screen of the police vehicle. The protesters were now becoming bold and they were getting close. The tear gas didn’t seem to deter them nor did the firing of rubber bullets. The driver of the police vehicle began to drive away then an order from their boss came though the vehicle’s radio, “This is a directive from above, shoot the protesters with live bullets.”

Emily’s heart went cold and she felt like she couldn’t breathe. “ But, but…” she tried to speak but the words couldn’t come out of her mouth. She and the other police offers looked at each other with despair and darkness in their eyes. She looked outside at the other police officers. They all looked confused and puzzled, no doubt they had heard the directive by their boss. How could they shoot innocent young citizens? She had children, how could she kill other people’s children? This was a mistake. They want us to kill them for objecting to additional taxes? This isn’t fair, this isn’t right. A few minutes passed and their boss talked through the radio again, “Shoot those annoying protesters. Maybe of a few of them died, they will stop protesting.” So it wasn’t a mistake, they actually meant it. Emily froze in the car as she watched her colleagues come out of it while reloading their guns with live bullets. No, this was an order she couldn’t follow, this was an instruction she couldn’t obey, let her job be damned. She wasn’t killing young citizens who were fighting for her. Then she heard them, the gunshots being fired. She looked out of the window and she saw the young citizens falling to the ground, their clothes stained with blood. To protect and serve, that’s the police motto, the irony now, the citizens need protection from the police. Emily didn’t come out of the vehicle for the rest of the day but all she could hear were screams and the sounds of despair. The smell of death hung in the air choking her but she couldn’t move to help them. How could she help them? Soon, there was nothing but silence in the streets. No more protesters, no more demonstrations, just lifeless bodies and blood.

When nightfall came, Emily returned to her home. Her three children were waiting for her by the door and they ran to embrace her as soon as she walked in. She held them tight knowing that there were many parents who wouldn’t hold their children tonight or ever again. She wept as she hugged her babies, grateful that they were still here even if they didn’t have a meal to eat that night. She knew she would be reprimanded by her bosses the next day but she didn’t care. All she cared about was this moment right here, holding her children in her arms, knowing they could be safe there.